well, that's it

I guess me and my best friend are now not friends. Now we can ignore each other and steep in regret and pain for a while. It's hard because we're both right. She has completely valid points and I fucked up. Now I guess all I can do is prove that I am a considerate and thoughtful friend. It's hard being told you're being selfish, but once you're told that, it sinks in pretty deep. For the last few years I haven't really had the chance to be building planning and responsibility skills, just emotional stuff and I realized that that won't cut it. Now I see what I have to do, but for now I feel like shit. Now I've lost my whole girl posse too. If they can't stick by me through this, that's fine. I want them back so much. Hopefully in time I can show that I can get shit done without having to lean on other people for support. I think that what I did in the past was pretty selfish, but the incident leading up to this falling out is explainable. Either way, she needs to do what she needs to do. For now I just need to step up my game and not be an asshole.